The Imperfection of Striving for Perfection

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No matter how hard I train.  — No matter how healthy I eat.  — No matter what coach coaches me. — No matter what perfect conditions I compete in.

I will never win be a perfect runner…

…and I am completely content knowing this.

Always Just Short

Perfection is something I used to strive for. I used to want to be the very best at everything. Needless to say, I failed each and every time.

Now, you’d expect me to follow with, “Striving for perfection is the devil.” Honestly, striving for perfection is not the devil. Striving for perfection is admirable in many ways. However, striving for perfection should not be the goal. The goal should be the fulfillment of accomplishing that much more every moment you are achieving something.

The problem with striving for perfection is that one will never achieve such despite coming oh-so-close. We always tend to fall just short of what the intended goal is. Leo Babauta, Mike Donghia and I discussed this here and Leo followed with Achieving, Without Goals. Leo brought up the fact that we all would still achieve much, if not more, if we just lived in the now and achieved that which we wanted in the now rather than stressing and not accomplishing established goals. The feeling that striving for perfection only leads to disappointment brings up the valid point that goals are a means to failure. Goals do not make the man (or woman). The journeys are what tell the tale.

So maybe there is no perfect? There’s just aim, do and try.  -  Everett Bogue, Minimalist Business

With that being said, goals do have their place in my eyes. Goals are how I achieve much of what I do. Without goals, I may have never quit my day job to move to Australia, completed multiple marathons and endurance races, developed a few blogs, and much more. However, I have learned that goals are not the end all be all. They have their place as long as they are not the focus and the journey is. Otherwise, we will all continue to fall short without enjoying the wonderful things we do accomplish.

When we base our actions more around the experience rather than goals, we may gain much more from that which we choose to do instead of that at which we fail to succeed.

Expect Nothing, Gain Everything

Short of the sun rising and setting everyday, I made the decision years ago to stop expecting anything. Of all the decisions I have ever made, this may be the one that has led to me being so content with life. When we set goals and strive for perfection, we tend to develop expectations of what is to come. We build our emotions up only to see them fall as expectations are not met.

“I’ve been doing this for awhile – I should be better at it by now.” What good does that do us? -  Colin Ryan (When We Expect to Be Perfect)

I see this struggle within my fiancée.  She is wonderful and means well, but still carries the expectations of others. Whether it be a friend or foe, she tends to expect others to be reciprocal in kindness. However, this is rarely the case. Though I am there to console her when expectations are once again not met, I try to explain that expecting of others only leads to being let down.

The same applies to the expectations we set upon ourselves. The more I expect of myself, the more I get done, but I don’t necessarily succeed at fulfilling my own expectations. Today, I do not do this as often, but at times I catch myself setting expectations and falling again for the reality of failure.

I have gained so much more appreciation for the efforts of others by not setting expectations based on false premises. If you can begin to accept the imperfections of one’s expectations, you will simply enjoy everything around you more. Set the standard expectation at the bottom step and be impressed as each step skyward blows those standards away.

Perfection Always Looks More Perfect When We’re Looking At It

A few weeks back, I asked Everett Bogue, someone I deeply admire, a simple question. Does perfect exist? He wrote back with detailed thoughts and explained his similar struggle with perfection. Below I have included a short excerpt from his response…

We’re a society that’s so obsessed with perfect that we have to airbrush real people into not real people before we put them on the front covers of magazines. We’re so obsessed with perfect that we medicate the best parts out of people in order to overcome their worst. We’re so obsessed with perfect that we beat ourselves up comparing each other to ourselves, when we’re never going to be someone else. And if we could be them, we wouldn’t want to be. Perfection always looks more perfect when you’re looking at it.   – Everett Bogue

As with Bogue, I feel perfection lies in the belief that we need to compare. Perfection would not exist if it were not for the act of comparing as nothing could be better than others without comparison.

The last line struck me the most. When we achieve something, we enjoy the success for a short time. However, when we fail or continue to strive for the unattainable, we dwell. We spend more time thinking of accomplishing perfection than enjoying that which we accomplish. Isn’t that interesting? We strive for so long to complete something that when we do, we move to the next thing with short lived fanfare for the accomplishment. In other words, why the hell are we striving for perfection if we can’t even enjoy the here and now?

Boycotting Perfection

Imperfections are beautiful. They are actually what catch our eye. They are what we tend to focus our attention on. They are what we strive to correct, yet fail to correct. What would happen to you if you started boycotting perfection?

In Courtney Carver’s piece Why You Should Boycott Perfection, she explains how “perfect people” are everything but the sort. Most of us know, and gossip, about the imperfections of others as well as ourselves. Yet, we tend to play celebrity on that which is considered perfect in our eyes. Perfect people are flawed despite this celebrity. For what reason do we 1) place celebrity upon people who are no better than you and me and 2) reject the notion that they have any character flaws? Now, this doesn’t mean we can’t aspire to follow in the footsteps of those we admire, but trying to be as perfect as we think others may be is the wrong mindset to take when admiring the beauty of others.

Many might claim that striving for perfection is the only way they achieve things. I agree that goals do help you do so, as stated earlier, but what would be the worst that happened if you boycotted perfection? Would you never succeed? Would your life be dull? Would your aspirations still not exist? I would think not. I think you would still accomplish a lot, as Babauta wisely said. It’s a matter of eliminating perfection and implementing the here and now mentality in that which you approach in life.

What to Do Without Perfection, Goals

Though I may be degrading the significance of perfection and goals, I admire those that strive for something rather than being stagnant. In fact, I have set a small goal for my pending marathon December 5th.  Am I completely going against my approach in this article? Well, I know I am not the perfect writer, so yes, I may be countering my thoughts a bit. However, the approach to my race is not significantly focused on a goal, but on the act of enjoying an activity I challenge myself with. If I do not accomplish my small goal, my world will not come crashing down on me. My goal is my contradiction and I am okay with this imperfection.

So you ask, “If you are not living by these perceptions, then why would I?”

Goals and the strive for perfection have their place. They do have meaning. They do serve a purpose. As with most approaches and ways to life, they are not as significant as we suggest they are. Goals and the strive for perfection should just be a part of the action and not the reason for the action.

My advice is as follows…

• For every action you choose, choose for the pleasure and not the goal. If you are able to separate goals from the enjoyment of doing something, anything, you will find that goals are not always necessary.
• Set the bar on the ground and not in the sky. Try not to set expectations of you and others. Be amazed by what you and others accomplish from the ground up instead of where you are unable to reach.
• Set goals and strive for perfection. It is not the end of the world if you want to strive to become the incredibly great at something. It is admirable to set your sights on something.  We naturally love setting a goal and completing it. Do so while placing more emphasis on the journey and not so much the conclusion.

I am Perfectly Content With My Imperfections

I know I am not perfect. I used to strive for perfection all the time. Now, I am content enjoying the ride while setting a few goals along the way. By primarily living in the now, I can enjoy the growth and development that comes tomorrow.

I started this article, letting you know how I would never be the perfect runner. I know I won’t. However, I will push myself to the limits that will make me a fulfilled individual. That is all I can ask of myself.

Perfection is a dream that I, nor anyone else, will ever live out. That is why, I am perfectly content with my imperfections.

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