I’d like to know more about your failures. They don’t seem to have come from any obvious source, such as a medical emergency. Instead, your trouble seems to be internal. A loss of faith, perhaps?

Why haven’t you posted? Why have you “dropped the ball” on your project? Are you scared of screwing up? Do you feel increasingly guilty for your lack of progress, in a way that forms a vicious circle which delays you even more? Theoretically, free time should naturally lead to productivity, so what’s going on here? Seriously, send me an email, I’d like to sort this out.